Breathe. Keep breathing.

And so I've finally written something new. Decent? Who knows. You be the judge. I am waiting and so ready for my creative writing class this semester.

I hold my breath, yet breathe you in all at once.
Your fragrance is intoxicating.
My mind is like a film, and I keep just missing the moments.
Rewinding them back to see myself beaming
As the guitar strums fill the room,
With your voice following...
The myriad of images in which I am hypnotized by that look you give me,
And the tallness of your smile.
This moment is euphoric still in my mind,
Even if it was so fleeting.
Deep breath, and I am consumed by your love.
And I am tortured by the sorrow in your soul.

All at once everything comes crashing down and I am here suffocating.
You've cut off the supply of oxygen I so desperately seem to need.
I am absolutely terrified this will end in disaster,
Yet all too willing to throw myself in the depths of such despairs.
I have not felt the purity in such absolute loneliness,
As I do in this moment, In what seems like ages.

Which hurtful choice of drug should be pursued?
The endlessness that is my love for you?
Or the nothingness of apathy...

I hold my breath, yet breath you in all at once.
I am everywhere and nowhere.
Everything I want and fear is you.

All about some respect. =)

How about a justifiable rant about how ridiculous the women of my generation act? It's so embarrassing and degrading at times. Ladies have slowly dropped self respect for themselves, in so many aspects. Wearing a shirt that says "I'm not Ms. Right, but I'll F#!k you until she comes along." What kind of vibe is that sending out other than bad judgment and parenting? Especially to the girls a few years younger than us. Constantly referring to yourselves as 'bitches' is just asking to be mistreated.

Don't have the audacity to act offended when someone is checking out your cleavage when you dressed like a hussy for such a moment anyways. It's almost painful when I overhear 13 year old's talking about shot glasses, beer pong and all the different guys she's got, all the while dressed like she just came from a club. My mother would have beat my ass if I ever left the house looking like that. Where is yooo momma child? I'm also peeved at the lack of respect women have towards one another.

There's so much pointless animosity, pouring out into our jobs and personal lives. I will never understand the extensive desire to purposefully diminish another woman's intelligence and knowingly screw up a relationship, because you started crushing on their man. Please have some respect for yourself, grow up and move on to a better possibility. Why are you so willing to put yourself in a compromising situation, and inflict pain on someone, when you sure as hell know how it feels? You are so much better than all of that.

Perhaps you are speaking ill of a co-worker/acquaintance because you think she is prettier, and you are envious that she has many things you aren't capable of attaining? You can get what you want, find love, and find peace all in time. Just be real and be respectful, to yourself and others, Work hard, And things will fall into place as they should. That's allll I'm saying for now. I really could go on for ages, I get so feisty over this subject.

Side note: Also, do not pretend to be somebody else, it's not cute. When a girl walks in dressed and acting like Lady Gaga, I have to wonder to myself, How badly are you needing attention today doll-face?

On a serious note...

It's been four months and the throbbing sting on the wound still feels just as fresh. Not having Shannon here just seems so out of place and unfair sometimes. She still inspires me to write, as I contemplate my goals I hear her voice as if we were still discussing them together. Losing a best friend is pretty much like losing a piece of your soul, but always having her in my heart eases the burn. I've faced so many losses, especially in the last few years, but no one can ever explain or prepare you for when death hits so close to home. Eveeeen as we speak, I'm sitting here typing away about her and procrastinaaaating. Something we always fought about being the champion over. I suppose I should actually get ready for work and stop acting like a bum. Excuse me, like a writer. It would be awesome to get paid one day to sit in my pajamas and write things, eh? =P

Heartache coursing through me,
Still find it hard to breathe,
Panic stricken moments that bring me to my knees.
I know god has a plan,
But why did he take the best of us?
Questioning his reason and what's in store for the rest of us.
Guide me somewhere, Hide me somewhere.
Falling slowly, hope seems nowhere.
Today we might stay, tomorrow's unlikely.
I'll weather the storm,
Cause I know she's beside me.